It turns out that Girl Scouts can only sell cookies outside a business if they get a permit

That whole paragraph is just so wtf, it makes my brain hurt. “By the way, please be aware we are planning on attacking members of the MSU community- actually those very members of our community who have been grievously injured by an employee of MSU and are in a lot of pain. Don’t worry, it isn’t because we want to…

Please continue to share these reports, Deadspin. As an ex-gymnast who experienced sexual misconduct as a child, it is extremely emotional and empowering to hear these brave women speak directly to their abuser and show no mercy. He is a monster and they are heroes for speaking out, and we should all be inspired by…

Yep. I myself came from a great supportive family, was on my way to getting my degree, but did not know I was suffering from a life long anxiety disorder that led me to two suicide attempts. I was fortunate to find my way out (and finish my degree!) with a lot of help/therapy/support, but some people aren’t so lucky,…

The thing is they’re claiming the Church is behind the release but they talk about it being extracted from the guy during that e-testing nonsense. So effectively it could be that the allegations are true but they’re using the bad image of the church as smearing by association themselves.

They call that move the Stop Resisting because before you know what the fuck is going on a cop starts taking shots and you’re dead.

We’re not talking about different positions, but the same position staffed by a man vs. a woman. You must not be the accountant.

Just had one of those moments where someone I’d previously never heard of makes me wonder what I’ve been doing with my life.

I’ve never been in jail, but it was very similar when I was in the psych ward. We had three Christian paperbacks, a bible, and some crayons. In between therapy sessions, we mostly just sat around and started at the walls, obviously a super-healthy activity.

I also linked to said Ringer article and cited it by name and author. It’s almost as if our readers and theirs aren’t the same!

She’s listening to the wolf cry to the blue corn moon.

Well, I’ll take any advantage I can get, including their laziness...

I also forgot that people can buy a 50" HD TV for like $10 now, and can flip between multiple games/redzone, so why the hell would they want to go to a stadium in the middle of nowhere to get pissed on by a jerkoff fan who’ll try to stab them after the game?

FWIW, that wax ring looks pretty thick, so I wouldn’t be surprised if it was a newer toilet. If you’re stealing appliances, you’ve got at least 2 guys, so uninstalling a toilet could be done in 90 seconds. If it’s a nice toilet, you could resell for $200 maybe. So the cost benefit makes sense. I realize I’m defending…

“No, I said one day I’m gonna steal your can, sir! Be patient!”

Pitbull has better range.

To be fair, Tomlin spent a lot of time working as a diagnostician under Dr. House so his medical background would almost require him to speak out on the quack.

Santa Claus has the ability to shrink in order to fit through chimneys. If he can get himself swallowed he can shrink and find his way into the bloodstream. Once he’s in the heart he can enlarge himself and stop the heart thus killing the beast.

Welcome to Deadspin! Be sure to stick around for the team previews next season. Your input will be appreciated.

My wife is a teacher of kids that age and I outright called that kid a stupid asshole the other day. She was quick to “not-all-ten-year-olds” me.