This seems right. Maybe corporate sales are way down or management is targeting a more suburban fan base or something, but this seems like a recipe for a terrible baseball team stuck miles from anyone who wants to see them play.

A massive, unnecessary construction boondoggle in the desert, aimed at preventing economic migration, and primarily designed to fleece taxpayers is VERY on-brand for Arizona.

Agreed.

A lot of the season tickets are corporate accounts from offices near the stadium. I’ll stop in for an evening game after work occasionally when I’m in town, and it seems like there are a number of fans like me, but you’re right, no way in hell I’d drive anywhere on a weeknight for a mid-season diamondbacks game.

Thank you for the phrase ‘marinara heiress,’ my day just got about 3x better.

Classic Belichick move, leaking old sexual assault charges to the media to throw off a rival coach.

Coach Belichick had no knowledge of any ball deflationary activities during the AFC Championship game and there’s nothing you assholes can do to prove it.

“Don’t get so triggered by my cosmology, Mr. DeGrasse Tyson; a little locker room talk never hurt anybody.” - Trevor Bauer, probably

Yet another Duke blowhard trying to push one of those fancy European pronunciations on the rest of us, while lording it over low-paid workers. Smh.

Betsy DeVos

“The ultimate snake, Federer would never” is such a bizarre take on Rafa’s fandom, and also my new go-to response whenever someone criticizes me.

Seems possible that Gordon Hayward wasn’t actually hurt this season, he just can’t pass that dang whittling safety course and Brad won’t make any exceptions.

Brad Stevens does give off a strong Eagle Scout vibe.

“My whiteness got me hired, but then my professional incompetence and personal behavior got me fired” certainly has a different ring to it, doesn’t it?!?

Trump is seriously considering him as the new Secretary of Defense after hearing Belichick’s views on surveilling the Browns.

“I’ve told you a million times, the yellow ones are just LEMON! WITCH HUNT!”

PERRY’S AGENT: [angling for real estate tax breaks] “... and we can just spin it as a Young Pope followup — he’s a little older now, and getting to know his illicit granddaughter, played by world-famous pop star Ka-”

If I’m Serena, Nike better have a full-time athleisure consultant following me at all times with branded performance snuggies and warm socks. Hotel towels smdh.

HR McMaster is looking for work, but that type of gig was an embarrassment for him last time.

A lot of Le Car, mostly?