But it’s been 20 years. Can’t wait to see how the characters handle this whole internet thing!

Too on the nose?

“Disney Plotz!"  - MAD Magazine

Aw, Cleatus. Does he still do the thing where he counts the players? I always loved that a robot advanced enough to play football needs to point at the 11 things it’s counting to keep them straight.

“All the words on the paycheck made sense, so."  -Actor guy

I feel like everyone in this thread is missing the joke here.

Who’s talking about the exploited third world priests forced to bless for 16 hours a day in sweatchurches just so we can enjoy this? 

Great, now I can put a face to this: https://sports.theonion.com/long-snapper-and-son-long-snap-a-few-balls-around-backy-1819570321

But then it's revealed it was all a holodeck simulation, and THEN it's revealed that it was really the work of a lonely alien child.

And Jenna is played by Paul Hogan, with mixed results.

Honey Bundchens of Oats

That’s A.B.’s line.

Let me add my voice to the chorus of well-wishers, in that I wish your column no specific harm. Welcome back!

Smugly Smugly Johnson was Smugly Kaye’s finest role.

If Bates isn’t wrongfully accused of something, I’m out.

Ha ha, oh Grandpa!

Oh, they’ll have movie theatres on Mars.

2019 parole review: What qualified as a dick in 2009 barely registers as mildly obnoxious now. The goalposts have been moved to fucking Neptune. He’s free to go. Or maybe that’s a worse sentence. [swallows bottle of pills]

They make me thirsty.

I'm sorry, but his official designation is Ralph from Dear John.