I can’t stand my in-laws.

The proper thing to do if you discover a nest of Copperheads living in or under your house is to hug them and offer to make them a tempeh stir fry. Snakes really appreciate the common courtesies, and they love a good stir fry (no peanuts though, they have a nut allergy).

Do I have a holiday made for her!

he already skinny tho

Hard pass. If he hadn’t already done too much blow to get it up, he’d immediately want a blowjob, assume you were the kind of girl who gets off on it, and then jack rabbit fuck you for five minutes before trying to do anal. Then, without asking, he’d come on your face.

GIRL... You don’t wanna fuck Mittens. Is there an opposite of this for when it’s reversed?

I don’t screw the unemployed... ;) GOD, THIS IS FABULOUS!

I would not could not bang the Mooch

I was thinking I’d swap out my real vagina with a Flesh Light full of spiders.

♬ Someone left that face out in the rain; I don’t think that I can take it...♬

Wow, this is pretty fucking racist against Italians, you know what I mean? Painting them all with the same grease brush, like they were all some beef braciole.

Doggie style only, with my face pressed into a briefcase full of money.

This elicited a hard shudder from me. Those are the worst of all penises. Ugh.

Bang him with what?

Diedre did what any normal, red-blooded American girl would do if her spouse went off the deep end and aligned himself with an amoral twit. She dumped him. Would that all the other spouses and s.o.’s of the trump white house and cabinet would do the same. Like Lysistrata - withhold sex until they come to their…

He is the most blatant cliche ever...and he just keeps getting ‘clicheier’ by the moment..

Ooooo a divorce AND a pregnancy in this story? God, I love other people’s drama...especially when they’re clearly a*sholes

seems like she made the right decision by filing for divorce. If I were her, I wouldn’t let him see the kids cause he is acting unhinged.

The only good thing this adm. is doing is for once and for all associating the phrase “a man’s man” with “cunt”.