I can’t speak to the U.K., but there are approximately 3.5 million Muslims living here in the United States. If the problem was Muslims, just Muslims in general, we would have been well and truly fucked years ago.

NO THEY SHOULD BE SUPERHEROES AND PUNCH STUFF

Honoring Cher. No Chad Michaels. S.M.G.D.H.

During the 6 months or so that I could eat neither dairy nor soy, I found Daiya to be by far the best cheese alternative. Used it to make pizzas and anything else I wanted cheese on. Quite tasty, by fake cheese standards.

Daiya is the shit.

I recently discovered Daiya cheese substitutes. They are so good most of the time I just call it cheese and leave off the word “substitute.” They’re vegan, but I eat it mainly because I’m lactose intolerant. Yesterday I had the best pizza I’ve eaten in decades.

Everybody, relax: Michael Moore is pretty sure his new movie will get rid of Trump.

Can we just skip the impeachment and annul this presidency? I’d say we could just abort it, but we’re in the second trimester, and Paul Ryan is going to make sure we carry it to term, even if it kills us.

Is this finally it??? Can this please be the beginning of the end? I’m totally dying for the day the universe rights itself and this orange fuckhead gets the boot. Then I go the closest bar I can find, drop $20 in the jukebox, play “FDT” on repeat, and proceed to get sloshed in the name of sweet, sweet liberty.

Wow. Just what the actual f*ck at this point? How can any Republican or Democrat not be calling for the immediate impeachment of this lunatic? He is now a legit threat to the nation. I can’t even imagine the uproar if this had happened to Hillary. They would be demanding prison time for her. 45 would be demanding she…

Well, there’s no pee involved, so there’s one D.C. resident who wasn’t offended

Or a snarky alien

Welcome to the family, Cousin Oliver!

It really does go too far. Because only one of them is assured of health insurance in the event.

NOOOOOOOO!

I’m more upset about the idea of no more Melissa McCarthy skits.

You gotta feel a little bad for her.

NO MORE STORIES TODAY RAF. HERE’S ALL THE NEWS WE NEED.

I would like to put forth a measure to say that we stop treating all Huckabees like people. All in favor?

Does this mean that SNL will have a male portray Sarah Huckabee Sanders?