That's where Siberian Ice Fairies keep the majority of their blood vessels.

It's like the Care Bears and the Night Before Christmas got into a fight and then farted out a make up song.

NO. I will totally and absolutely go out of my way to bring down the 300 sandwiches lady.

Jesus. I pray with all my atheistic powers that no one beside this person's family buys the book. Nothing this dull and stupid and ridiculous and retrograde should be rewarded with cash in a just society.

Guarded by actual Scotch probably. Forty-year-old Macallan, perhaps.

Please don't think me braggadocious, but several years back I had the good fortune to interview the loveliness that is Iman, a phone interview that started as she was walking home from something, and then into her apartment and into her kitchen, where she proceeded TO CONVERSE WITH DAVID BOWIE WHILE I WAS STILL ON THE…

Wowww. It took me up until the word "pussy" to realize that that is not the song she was actually dancing to. And that is how I know it's still Monday.

Just imagine what he'd do to a Thomas Kincaide painting!

Telling me to not read the comments is like telling me to not press the big red button. Putting on my septic diving gear and going in. God bless.

I know the Matrix was popular, but I don't think his family has a much money as you think they do.

"Whatever! Whatever! I do what I want!"

Beyonce isn't the cutest person in that video, but she's in the top two!

This is a (n adorable) face that just cries out "I've seen shit, people..."

I think a Facebook invite to a baby shower=oh I forgot you existed but I want your presents. I don't like them and I never ever go to anything that I know other people got invite cards for but I was just FB invited. It's just bad manners and goes back to the entitled "buy me things" mentality. Don't even decline just…

Nope nope nope! This is so tacky. I would decline and not feel a bit bad about it.

I know, right? What's the deal with prosecuting consensual acts? I took a guy home went through his phone without his knowledge and got all his online banking information and drained his accounts. Do you know what that shithead did? He had me arrested! Right in my own home! Where he consented to go! I didn't…

It's Christmas come early! I'm putting on the John Denver Muppets album and drinking all the cocoa! Fa la fucking la!!!

I hate when anyone (male, female, sleeping with me or not) has an opinion on how I should wear my hair.

I have a feeling dudes like this like to pretend they have these really high, picky standards to justify their inability to get any woman to touch their penises.