I think everyone knows that wherever those kids end up, it will be a million times better than being with Charlie Sheen.

While Sheen is throwing shade at Brooke Mueller for being a bad mom, none of these mainstream entertainment outlets seems incline to ask why this fucking dickhead can't be responsible for his own kids.

This kid right here is all 'Oh god. Don't mess up. Don't do wrong in front of the First Lady, keep it together, keep it together....'

I can't figure out if this is a gif or a still photo. I will see this face in my nightmares.

I really, really doubts she cares that you don't approve.

My husband used to think that going to the gyno was one sort of party. So I made him go and sit at the far end of the table. At one point he was so horrified, he told the doctor to stop. The vaginal speculum made him tear up. 20 years later, he still brings me flowers, candy, and apologizes after every appointment.

Hey, now. Bad haircut or no, I fucking adore JLaw. 4EVR.

Her hair may have changed, but her fraudulent smile and evil, dead eyes remain the same.

Things that also "ooze confidence":

Can we please applaud 3 News for being the kind of program that does good and helps society? These boys and the police are in hot water because of their investigation. More of this please.

If it makes you feel any better I totally would have turned around ASAP.

I know, fuck me, right?

Runners are tough as shit. I used to coach men's and women's cross country at a small highschool so the teams trained together. The men were generally faster, so for our first 9 mile run I said the guys would have to run the whole way, but the women could turn around when they saw the first runner coming back their…

This is why I pair miniskirts with the oldest, scariest period undies in the drawer. Peepers will be punished.

Uh. No. That is not how it works. Just because you exist in public does not mean people get to take photos of areas that would normally be covered by your clothing. Wearing a skirt is not the same as walking down the street in a bikini. A woman in a skirt has the reasonable expectation that no one is going to see her…

Can I argue that introducing my fist to your face counts as free speech too, Masshole?

No one in the history of humanity has ever had a rational conversation with an upset 2-3 year old.

From the other side, I'll just say that I ducked out OKCupid after a few months. There's a lot of awful awful Asian fetishists with some pretty stupid ideas. Sometimes they're straightforward about it, and other times they try to play coy.

As a Black Woman, this is why I've given up on online dating. No smack to my Asian sisters, but I have just given up. I'm seriously considering sewing it up and becoming a nun. I gots personality. I've got edumacashun. I'm nice. I make a decent income. However, I am the statistically "least desired" ethnicity…