In a totally unrelated story, Chris Davis has asked Wes Welker for, "That girl Molly's phone number."

You have to remember though, they did ask the victim whether or not she thought that he should be punished and she said no. Also, don't forget they asked her with him sitting right next to her so that they would know she wasn't lying.

16. Approximately when will Commissioner Goodell be tendering his resignation?

Okay, it's official. The world is ending. Pack it up. Out of all things that could have possibly happened, this is the one that will end it all. Come to think of it, there is a 95% chance that the world has already ended. Stephen A. Smith just made Skip Bayless look like the voice of reason. I need to sit down.

I've been a fan of Pumking for some time and I have to say this year's batch is pretty terrible compared to the past two years. Not sure what it is, but it just isn't as good.

One might call this a GIF basket.

They were going to replace every players' name with "Mission Accomplished" but then realized they hadn't played the game yet.

"Roger Goodell is Ray Rice's Left Hand" explains why the suspension was so light.

I'm sure when the NCAA saw the shit show on SportsCenter this morning they were dancing around their offices like babes on Christmas morn.

While I enjoy your cynical world view, it was pretty widely rumored that this would be announced today for the past week.

"The real lesson here for anyone seeking to maintain control is to always reach for more power; eventually your subjects will forget there was ever a time when you weren't in charge."

Be fair. Andy Reid would get at least 3 blockers out in front of Shady if it were a screen pass.

You got it all wrong. He suspended the cyclists for 2 stages, waited three months, then suspended them indefinitely.

With the NFL's stance on concussions, you should know this would never fly. Make him play with only a helmet instead.

He should have chosen his words more carefully. Calling this a terrible black eye for the league? Oof.

Maybe there's a second video from another elevator 3 minutes before this one where she savagely attacks him. Maybe there was a second videographer on the grassy knoll who got the perfect shot of this attack with audio and all. Don't get me wrong, all of this would still not justify cold cocking a girl, but maybe it's…

@CHARLESBARRKLEY: ME FIRST

That's a concussion. Fencing response.

"I always try to finish first."

In all seriousness, I was starting to like the system where starred comments rose to the top rather than just whoever was followed by a staffer. I honestly think the comment quality has gone down a little since the pending system was brought back.