The news this morning felt like a punch to the face. Soundgarden and Temple of the Dog were mainstays in my personal music library in high school and college. I even willingly paid for (and enjoyed) some of his solo work. His voice was mesmerizing and his lyrics put into words all of the depression-fueled emotions…

A “loving husband” who had to resign amid allegations of sexually harassing practically every woman who ever worked at Fox News.

Forget this piece of shit. Let us lament on the loss of an actual virtue to our nation and our species: Chris Cornell.

I’ve had a crush on Chris Cornell since I was 12.

[Cornell and Roger Ailes sit in Charon’s barge, and open their complimentary meals.]

YEAH BUT YOU KNOW WHO ELSE IS DEAD?! THIS GUY!

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A conservative alive today should never be allowed to preach to anyone else about “patriotism” ever. If I see one of these un-American assholes waving a flag at me, I’m going to laugh in their fucking faces.

Listen, this is ridiculous. Pence will be a test of endurance but he is not:

I intentionally waited until my mid-30s to get married and have a kid. I spent my 20s being poor, doing awesome internships, dating, living abroad, and taking jobs that were incompatible with having a family. Plus I got to see a lot of relationships implode so I could see the red flags long before I got emotionally…

There’s no need to bring sweet, innocent vanilla into this. Pence has the personality of a rotting turnip.

He’s in Molasses Swamp. Ironically it’s undrainable.

1. They don’t perceive that it will ever affect them personally. 2. Liberals don’t like it.

I swear to God I am going to lose my shit if Jill Stein sticks her mug out of the ground in 2020.

Chicken and Waffles is the real loss

“I think the majority of folks think Cool Ranch Doritos are the best Doritos”

I like people who leak without getting captured.

Daaaaaaaaammmnnnn!!

He reminds me of an underdone muffin covered in powdered sugar.

Trump gave up more intel in 5 minutes with the Russians than John McCain did in 5 years of torture from the North Vietnamese.