1: Bears generally don’t seek out or bother people

The bears (generally) don’t come in our house

It’s amazing that Rovell can get a signal to tweet from that far up his ass. He just hit the Salvation Army over subtlety! The people who stand in the middle of your grocery store’s exit and ring a bell in your face!

This story keeps getting worse!!!

...and that’s why I’m willing to put up with snow and frigid temperatures.

Thank you for your response. I realize we only hear the worst of the worst but it just seems to be a lot of worst.

i CTE what you did there

I’m curious how Goodell will respond. On the one hand, he hates celebrations, on the other, the League likes to look the other way when players are getting their bells rung.

Do you want Donald Trumps? Because that’s how you get Donald Trumps!

How the hell did I not notice the hottest guy on Westworld was Karl?!? Clearly I need to watch Love Actually more often than once per year.

“So tell us about the jobs that will be created by this stadium plan.”

Can you add Rent-a-Car to your name please?

Fuck that guy with the least satisfying of dicks

In that case, why the fuck am I wasting all this time and money on my IRA and 401k?? I won’t NEED legit retirement money— all I have to do is dress up like a Cute Little Old Lady[tm], go take some free diamonds from a store, resell them, and all will be forgiven!

Fuck him, but fuck the death penalty too. People who seek cognitive closure for other people’s actions have a toe on the Just World Fallacy border. Not cool.

I prefer to be comforted in 140 characters or less when a national tragedy happens

I thought this said “RAIDER NATION REPENT!”

HA, I love that! As long as they’re not obnoxious I love when flight attendants have a little fun. On a flight home to San Diego from Chicago, our Southwest FA once said something along the lines of “if you look to our left, you’ll see a bunch of people headed somewhere that SUCKS.” It gave me a giggle for sure.

I am blown away by the amount of folks who felt it was necessary and important to point out there is no Kansas City in Michigan. Thank you for your service, internet scholars.

Well-mannered Raiders fans?