Dude, I’m fucking done with Sanders. I gave him a ton of money and I wish I could ask for it back. This fundraiser was done specifically to raise money for downballot candidates—the kind of congresspeople Sanders would actually need to fuel his imaginary revolution.

So.... a 9 year old girl completed a course designed for what is the most elite outfit of our arsenal? I think? And we’re STILL having the conversation about whether women should be integrated into certain ranks within our armed forces?

Fuck yeah it is. 1.2 million a year for 18 years? A lot of people hate their exes for free.

No disrespect to good gym teachers but it’s pretty clear he's going to be a bad gym teacher next.

He loves the park!

I wouldn’t be surprised if his highest paid staff are paid via a consulting firm or their own LLC. Common pay scheme.

Reverse French braid?

Things that have made my child cry: 1) he has to go to daycare. 2) he has to come home from daycare. 3) the waffles at the diner were the wrong shape. 4) the guy he just waved at turned out NOT to be 1996 Steve from Blues Clues. 5) It’s windy.

I know, this shit is going too far. Who the hell thinks it is okay to call a toddler a “Monster Child.” I have babysat a toddler that cried because a leaf blew out of his hands. And then I got it back for him but he didn’t believe it was the same one. I know they are a tabloid but at least have some decency when it…

Republican party to Trump: “please remove your gaping maw from our dog whistle. You’re getting spittle on it."

This would be quite effective were it not for the fact that “women: you have to treat them like sh*t” is the subtext for the entire Republican party.

I’m glad people occasionally come forward and demand that idiots cut the bullshit.

what

It was going to be a no-win situation anyways with the native Americans and magical America. Don’t bring them up, and you’re erasing them. Draw upon native traditions, and you’re appropriating them. Make some shit up entirely, and you’re caricaturing them.

People can have whatever opinion of the Kardashians as they want - I really don’t care either way about them - but that is one incredibly savvy family.
Kim K really needs to teach Liz Lemon how to do that thing that rich people do where they turn money into more money.

So, if you get raped by a stranger, don’t abort the baby because that’s bad, but we won’t acknowledge its existence when it’s born, either.

She swallowed a fly?? That old woman sounds crazy. You should get a gun.

wat