FIFY...

When my Great Aunt Ruth died, we all flew in from various parts of the country and gathered at the Family Cemetary. Now I should mention this is the Jewish side of the family, and this NY cemetery is the one known for reselling graves and stacking bodies, so it’s obviously not the best in the world. Ruth’s husband…

Too many to count. All funerals are weird.

When my son passed away, he was 14 months old and a friend had brought his young daughter up from KY for the funeral. It was late January and she had never seen snow so she started doing snow angels and playing in the snow at the cemetery. The other kids who were there were looking at their parents for the same…

Alright, I obviously was not there, but this is one of the best funeral/memorial stories I’ve heard to date:

Like most of my family stories, this one is fucked up. My father died pretty young, after spending about half my life avoiding me because I look and sound too much like my mother, his ex-wife but spent time with my brother. His brothers, my uncles, don’t know me because my hag grandmother declared my brother and I…

One of my cousins died unexpectedly earlier this year. He worked in music licensing and management, and I think everyone in the metal and hard rock scene knew and loved the guy. It has to have been the most metal funeral the mortuary had ever seen: An overflow crowd of people in leather and band t-shirts (at his…

This is one where you really need to use your imagination and believe me that every word is true.

At my uncle’s funeral this woman (who I know he didn’t know ) got up and decided to sing. Before she started her song, she decided to let everyone know she had an album coming out. After her song she plugged her album once more. And also let all the guest know she singles that we could buy after the service.

When I was at my grandfather’s brother’s funeral, one of my father’s cousins let slip that my father is adopted right in the middle of a eulogy. It turns out that everyone knew that my grandmother was already pregnant with my father when she and my grandfather met, except for my father. My mother had even figured it…

Freshman year of high school a girl I knew’s dad died suddenly, now we weren’t that close then, but we’d been really good friends in elementary school, so my mom decided our family should go to the funeral to show our support and all that jazz. Now, in the eyes of the law her parents had been divorced for about a…