How many times does Chicago have to tell these horrors to keep our name out of their mouths?

This cracked me up because any variation of “I own a car and a home and have a good job” is an automatic left swipe for me on dating apps. Not because I “crave bad boys” like these guys would probably think, but because if these generic check marks are what you have to say for yourself and you think they make you one…

Yeah, I love me some fancy smitten kitchen recipes but I keep coming back to pioneer woman’s penne ala betsy and perfect pot roast. Both are just damn good, and they don’t stress me out because they’re easy and she photographs every step.

Apparently the rotting spaghetti squash is going to collect social media info, including the vague term “searches”from all immigrants. My naturalized ass can’t wait to change all my handles to “Trump’s tiny hands” and to search “Trump is ugly and not as rich as he tells people he is” and “Mar a Lago is a shitty resort…

Can confirm that Uniqlo’s ultralight is insanely warm. I wore the vest in iceland over my sweater or shirt and often got away with just that. On really cold days I threw a uniqlo heattech underlayer on.

Chiberia endorsed. This is the way to live. Also, if you’re new to the cold, stretch your cute coat wear out as long as you can until you first break out the ugly coat. It’s a weird sort of breaking the seal- if you go big coat too early, you’ll be in it all winter because your cute coat will feel too cold after its…

I will preach the gospel of uniqlo for all time- If you’re gonna be outside awhile in the cute coat and want extra warmth, their Heattech vests are legitimately super thin and SO warm. I also wear heattech leggings all damn winter since I walk to work in skirts.

I want to look as casual and cool as her in her white shirt and jeans. Just need to be like 6 inches taller and have a lot more stunning genetic material to work with.

Does this mean we’re getting more Mrs. Maisel soon? The pilot is so good! I feel like we’ve been waiting forever for the rest of the season.

I turned 30 today and had a lovely party, at which several of my comedy friends told me I need to move to LA for my career and now I’m DEEPLY confused! Weigh in, internet friends. It would be and easy move- my chicago job will transfer to our LA office since I already work so many west coast clients.

This is so important and good. Kimmel is not a news show or a news parody show, he has a huge audience, and he’s picking up a lot of people who choose to bury their heads in the sand and “not think about politics.” Then he breaks it down into simple clear terms and delivers it in a calm, lovely, well spoken way. I…

I occasionally buy stuff from them if I want to try a trend cheaply- this is a good reminder that I really need to stop doing that. They do so many shitty things.

I put it on to fall asleep to at night- just enough to listen to but not enough to stay awake for.

The whole series is on netflix! Enjoy my friend.

Ugh. Want. But as a true city dwelling millenial, here’s my problem- I live in the city and don’t have a car. Do I take an uber to a plant nursery? Do they deliver?

How much government money do we think trump will funnel into repairing Mar-a-Lago- pretty much everything earmarked for Florida?

I just learned about this yesterday and am SHOOK, as the kids say.

As long as they stay high waisted. All hail the high waisted pants trend. I have a tiny waist and big ol hips and I finally look like that instead of just looking generally large.

One of the shitstains from my high school posted about how Trump “just can’t get a break” no matter what he does because of the criticism of his visit. His argument was basically “he would have gotten shit for not going, he can’t win with you libtards!” (yes, this kid used that term. Real gem.)

A new Aldi opened a mile and a half from me. City dweller, no car, so the real question is, is Aldi worth busting out my old lady rolling shopping cart and taking a long walk tomorrow?