Holy tense shifting, batman.

The older I get the more it hits me how much racist crap was put in my head in southern public schools (I’m sure it happens up here too, it’s just different racist crap). The war of Northern aggression is such an absurd concept ACTUALLY TAUGHT in schools. Watch what your kids are learning, southern parents. Counteract…

Married and SUPER ADORABLE if that makes it better.

I always lie and put a nebraska zipcode or something, because I know the GOP gives zero shits about my nice liberal 606 zip.

Is this the cousin of the midwest mom fancy t-shirt? a cap sleeved, potentially bedazzled monstrosity paired with flair jeans and sneakers. The horror. 

In my dream house I have so much bad taxidermy in my library. Shitty taxidermy is an art in and of itself.

By far the weirdest part of that is seeing “Mami” translated as “Mommy.” Mama (as in “sexy mama”) might be better- it’s weird how much a different diminutive of a word changes meaning.

I find it very charming that Rachel Dratch’s parking offense was right around the corner from Second City. Chicago comedy history right there!

I drive just barely further back than that but not because I need my arms at that angle- I just have incredibly short legs and need to to reach the pedals. I accept that it’s how i’ll die.

Ok now I absolutely have to have it. Go Wildcats!

Don’t worry, I think I scared them all off when I worked in parks and rec and was the skulls, bones, and taxidermy lady.

Luckily it looks like only half a tail.

SO MUCH good stuff. How much do you think it would cost to ship this insane bobcat? I must have her.

Who is the woman in this video and why is she allowed to try and upstage all these lovely dancers with her bad posture lead-with-the-inner-thigh nonsense dancing?

HE WAS which is why I want to see how Jane even liked him and how that goes in the future...

I feel like I’m hopping all over hijacking this article to talk about Emma instead, but I’ve always wanted to see a spinoff of Emma that tells Frank Churchill and Jane Fairfax’s story.

She’s also wildly more sympathetic when you compare Pride and Prejudice to Emma- her daughters are basically a little bit of bad luck away from being Miss Bates. Miss Bates may be cheerful about her situation, but it’s pretty bleak- sunk from a comfortable upbringing into near total dependence on the kindness of her…

I would KILL to be there. I would get into his vicinity and then when he tried to introduce himself, just laugh dismissively and walk away. If a tiny kick to his ego is all I get, then damnit I’m taking it.

I have nothing to say about this product and everything to say about you calling them pum pum shorts like my mother. I love it. Is this a thing Americans say too? I always thought it was weird Caribbean patois (which, tbf, is most of my mother’s phrases).

Havana is not terrible, I just wish someone else was singing it. Her voice is so reedy and annoying to me.