Barry spent years in Chicago. Paul’s lucky he didn’t get stabbed in the neck.

When they did this back in 2008, it ended with the secret service swarming Gilbert Arenas right before he could take his shot.

Wow, look at that incompetent figurehead strutting around like he’s doing something of value. Like he’s actually respected by anyone. How do you not have the self-awareness to realize that you suck at your job so much? That you should just quit while you’re behind? Seriously, just show some fucking dignity at this…

Paul is from Inglewood, so Barry better watch his Dockers-and-Rockports-wearing ass.

Obama really should learn to respect his elders.

I doubt it. This is his driver’s license photo.

Does Clay Guida ever NOT look like he’s gotten his ass kicked?

I have never shopped on Black Friday and never will. I've worked on Black Friday which is much worse.

I think you mean Thin Mints.

Tagalong or gtfo? Clever.

When Todd Haley has to remember the names of black people, he uses the mnemonic device of just calling all of them 'Dwayne Bowe'

Todd Haley writes his mom the same birthday card every year - "Sorry I slid out of your vag today, no one this awesome will ever be inside you again."

"Bang a Solid Gold dancer" is no. 7 on Todd Haley's bucket list

The license plate on Todd Haley's camaro reads "My other ride is a camaro."
The plate on that car? "My other ride is your mom."

Todd Haley once paid a Backpage escort with an autographed football intended for the United Way.

Todd Haley is involved in a patent lawsuit against the makers of Truck Nutz

Todd Haley introduces himself as "Tee Oh DOUBLE DEE!"

Todd Haley ends all team meetings with "Try not to fag it up out there today."

Todd Haley paints racing stripes on footballs to make them faster

Todd Haley thought Bob Dylan's "Blood on the Tracks" was just code for another month free and clear of having Todd jr.