They can’t use lasers because only the offensive guy can see the laser, so he knows how hard to try whereas the defensive guy has no clue since hes facing the other direction

Sweet my last name is connected to American Horror story!

My fav. part is when he said if you don’t like the answers, don’t ask him those types of questions!

FUCK CNN! I watched a New York news station in Tampa Florida for an hour while CNN showed B-Rock cracking jokes at a benefit dinner. They could have at least given him the Bush 9-11 whisper in the ear so he wasn’t making a fool of him self in the middle of an IED going off in the largest city in America for the 2nd…

Technically you still own the seats, just go to the stadium and sit there on Sundays. Trust me it’s still better than having to suffer through the rams.

I always wondered why Eastern Rome didn’t come help, but I guess that wouldn’t have set up the awkward crusades where they ask for Europe’s help then have Europe attack them a few years later.

I have one of these and it’s amazing! Bagless is the key! Cheaper than other bagless too. The only downside is that the brissel attachment gets hair tangled in it easily. Other than that great product.

I have one of these and it’s amazing! Bagless is the key! Cheaper than other bagless too. The only downside is that…

The question, all though probably delivered wrong, wasn’t a bad question. Many people in the gay community have early experiences with heterosexuality. It’s not a big deal, what is a big deal is that only about 4% of Americans are openly homosexual and we can’t have these kinds of conversations yet, even though it…

Remember tight rolling your pants?

So Dewar’s huh? Never heard of it, but now that you shamelessly plugged it, I guess I have to be a zombie and get it...

Finally someone gets it! Us teacher have to do presentations for 8 hours. I always tell my wife you know how you fear speaking at a meeting for a month in advance? That’s me 6 times a day!

He looks like a poor mans Big Ben, and Big Ben is already a poor looking man to begin with!

Some poor high school girl has no clue, but when she drops out in a year, she’s going to have to get with him to make a living...

I loved when ESPN spends twice as much time than the next closest school, on researching the arrest records of FSU the year after we win a NC over an SEC school, but it can’t be SEC Bias. I loved when we were undefeated coming off a NC and didn’t get mentioned on Gameday because we played Wake Forrest, but they can do…

I work in a high school with a cop and he said first and foremost I will tell you like I tell my family: If a police officer is calling you down to the station, bring a lawyer. They are not calling you down to see how your day is going. So if a cop says that, do it.


Secondly I have a friend who used to be a cop and he…

This is probably the best explanation on why serial killers, and well crime in general is down. Long story short most of the criminals historically have come from bad home lives, but now since roe v. wade has taken effect, many of those unwanted pregnancies are not a problem. The number of crimes dropped really fast…

My engagement ring story:

My wife likes to wear a lot of costume jewelry rings. So when I went to get her engagement ring I brought 3 of her most worn rings and got them sized. They were 6, 6 1/2, and 6. So we went with 6 thinking it would be no big deal. When I proposed in Vegas to her she said it was too loose the…

The top oh that’s on tv event for me is the spelling bee, I don’t care what year it is, I never go can’t wait to tune in on Monday to watch it. They always get me.

The worst announcers to me are diving announcers. They shit on everyone. You could get a perfect score riding a unicorn and they would say yeah, but the…

For cities named in Music, you have to guess it’s New York or LA because most rappers love to rep their city and they put out the most rap music. There is no way the Animals singing about New Orleans in one song can compete with Jay-Z talking about New York every 5 seconds.

I have skinny arms and legs. The average person can wrap their thumb and pink around my wrists and touch them. Yet I can a belly that’s bigger than some pregnant woman right now. The struggle is real!