Excatly

The cop and cab driver in It’s a Wonderful Life.

Funnier still is that he misspelled a made up word. Didn’t even know that was possible.

Don’t worry, Matt Barkley has your back..... back-breaking pick six, that is.

Same thing happened to me outside of work once. Saw a group of people all staring at something, so I went to investigate. Fucking gigantic hawk just calmly going to town on this pigeon. Gave no shits that there were at least thirty people pretty close by staring and taking pictures. Apparently they like breed them…

“... wipe, then fold in half and wipe again.”

You aren’t... I mean... you couldn’t be saying what I think you’re saying??!!

Yet here we are.

“Meet Cute”

You had me ‘til Cowboys.

Not a huge surprise that Chapman choked last night; he’s very good at choking.

And with a closer who nearly choked his girlfriend to death!

Wait, she thought you were trying to flatter her by purposefully undercutting her age by one year??

They should just switch to the Cleveland Spiders. Best name in the history of baseball.

You’re embarrassed to buy toilet paper??

I never really liked Emmitt; got real old real fast for me. Schilling is so much better.

A bunch of people said their high school (I think? A few did, at least). I have no idea why.

Yet here you are.

Fresno?

My mom was Bob Ojeda’s middle school teacher in Ivanhoe, CA. Who cares, but still.

I like them raw, too. I once dared myself to eat an entire one like an apple. I couldn’t finish it, but I’ll have the occasional raw slice here and there. I love them.