My dad was exactly the same! Not beating the shit out of us like his alkie father did WAS showing us love. I didn’t get that as a kid but thankfully I came to my senses before it was too late.

Oh, man. So sorry to hear that. Addiction is a fuckin’ beast. And you’re so right on about their own upbringing being a factor. My dad was abused physically and emotionally growing up. Horrible shit. I honestly think that, apart from the extra issues from the alcoholism, it just never occurred to him that “loving your…

Hugs. My old man died slowly and painfully thanks to his addiction. He wasn’t a bad guy and compared to his own upbringing, he was a decent dad who loved us and did the best he could with what he had to work with. I hold no ill will towards him.

Ugh. Hugs, fellow child of a drunk. I had a very similar upbringing and I too have made peace with the old man because he finally turned a corner on the drinking and, well, he’s mellowed a lot with age. Plus he’s trying, and there was never anything so bad in the past that would make me turn my back on him when he’s…

This! My dad was absent most of the time and an alcoholic. He would miss his visitations and forget my birthday all the time. But he never abused us or did anything really awful so as an adult I forgave him. There is definitely more to this.