Texans have a ton of pride. A TON. Hard not to get butthurt when you're that full of yourself. See in the OP where he stated: "I dare say for every reason there is to 'dislike Texas' ... there are several more to like, love, and honor this wonderful corner of the universe." Exceptionalism at it's smuggest.

Bill Simmons is the Two and a Half Men of sportswriting.

i LOL'ed.

All AIDS jokes aside, wasn't he a terrible analyst? Watching Inside the NBA vs. NBA Countdown is like day and night. ESPN has a horrible cast of blowhards.

Cancer? Teeth?

Protip: Using the word sheeple makes you sound approximately 3 times loonier than you probably are.

They won't start from the beginning. They'll start at 5 sec and say they've been watching the whole time.

As a "science illiterate", I sincerely apologize. Please educate me. How close are we to harnessing this thing I have no idea about?

From what I remember about human psychology, the more bystanders there are in a group, the less likely any single individual is to act. Something about the spreading of responsibility.

You seem just as insufferable as they are.

I'm not sure age has anything to do with it. He's probably just not very intelligent. I mean that in all seriousness. He probably just doesn't have the ability to comprehend the situation. I cannot believe any human would have his opinion otherwise.

Why no retroactive punishment for egregious flopping?

While I don't really agree with Butfuq, I doubt I would take anthills that seriously if I were some junior high coach. Hell, I wouldn't right now. Not a surprise to me that they shirked their duties for something that seemed so innocuous.

So you're claiming to be an immunologist, then? Otherwise, you need to stop pretending as well.

They may very well be Jags fans. Christians base their whole identity on irrational beliefs.

Wozniacki is already irrelevant. As someone who never watches golf, I'm wondering how long until McIlroy is, as well?

Nadal played with more than just consistency and patience. Give the guy the credit he deserves.

The only people who believe Usain Bolt is clean are the same people who believed Lance Armstrong was clean. I cannot describe how good it felt to finally get those people to see reality once Armstrong was caught.

Enjoy your life sentences on the chain gang, ladies.