I fucking love Cher. I don’t even know what this tweet is about. I don’t care.

i legit cant stop laughing

Emma Roberts, Lea Michele, and Ariana Grande

Good thing you blackened his face and de-invented Google.

Ah, yeah, I know that technique. I do it after I do a few curls, just so the other guys don’t think I’m weak, or somethin’.

I texted my husband a picture of my boobs when he was out of town once. He texted back a long response about the “dangers of the cloud.”

I know power is supposed to be attractive, but c’mon, he’s a potato sack clad in human skin and a bad suit.

I love this. I know some people find this kind of thing overwhelming or depressing but I find it both humbling and cheering. There is so much out there! We are just tiny specks!

“Cocaine and chlamydia” sounds like a ‘70s cop show.

“I fingered that blonde lady backstage.”

I’m willing to bet that the story that Charlie Sheen told Mario Lopez was neither “hilarious” nor “classic.”

Hells yeah!

If someone who knows how to make pizza dough did this, I bet it’s delicious. The pizzas he had looked pretty tasty and not like they were from some chain.

I’d rather eat 4x thin crust. This would be like eating a loaf of bread.

Oh god can you imagine twice the dominos greasy spice-blend slathered crust urk

It looks gross to me, but I’m someone that only likes thin crust pizzas.

I don’t even understand what it means...is it just...thicker dough? Or do they like roll out two doughs and plop one on top of the other and add the toppings? I DONT UNDERSTAND BUT IT LOOKS PRETTY GOOD???

Can it be double dough AND stuffed crust?? WHERE IS THIS GRAND MONSTROSITY!?

On the other hand, it was really nice of Barnes and Noble to give Helen Lovejoy a management position.

I actually was standing in my closet the other night thinking