You hereby “order” companies to look at alternatives to China? Putting aside the dictatorial nature of that statement, WE ALREADY ARE BECAUSE OF YOUR TARIFFS YOU BLOATED ORANGE BUFFOON!

It used to be Lincolnwaswrong. They shortened it at Ellis island.

“Oh Ivanka, you are metamorphosing into a smoky eyed Carpathian harpy like your mother ready to eat my soul.” *cue dreamy harp music*

I would love to see Jared and Ivanka’s wedding night:

Just a perfectly normal, casual, spontaneous Twitter photo of two normal people walking the fields alone, probably just resting their iPhone on a tree branch that happens to be perfectly situated for this stunning photo. And, oh, look, they captured the sunset at the perfect moment! Yup, just a couple wearing their…

They are just tall enough for me to have to climb and just narrow enough to completely lack ass support once I get there. It's a nightmare.

They’re designed so if you stand up without twisting sideways they just hook onto your hips and you take the whole damn thing up with you. 

These are worse, but only by a very small margin. They’re too narrow and the wicker digs into your legs.  They’re too deep to lean back in while eating, yet if you sit forward, the raised part on the front of the seat cuts off your circulation.

I 100% am able to believe that the kids would obey, and let themselves be transported.

I thought the part about all the children being totally quiet was kind of funny too. I mean, it worked for me, it was moving, but some of those kids were really little and really scared! Somebody would have been crying.

Sounds like a Nirvana album cover! I love it.

I’m considering gaining 400 pounds and sitting on a bed in my mom’s basement. 

That’s unfortunate about Bill Richardson.  He seemed like a good guy.  Oh, well.

The husband is accused of things, so it’s certainly possible he was involved. The wife, though, she strikes me as one of those self-deluding rich wives like FLOTUS (also an ex-model) who are only interested in preserving and enhancing their social standing.

Check out the unsealed document in full, below.

And after reading this I’m going to need to do “something biological” like vomiting!

I have CPTSD and a myriad of physical symptoms (stomach pain, panic attacks, nausea, EDNOS, chronic body pain, migraines, insomnia, etc.) have plagued me since I was a teen; I’m only now, in middle age, realizing what my childhood had to do with this and trying to get in touch with any of my emotions besides anger is…

This is an extremely important point.

Because her floor is covered in crushed white rhino horns, duh.

I would assume that it took so long to nicely/decoratively destroy so many fucking roses that the first petals pulled were basically potpourri by the time the job was finished, so a lot of them might be a bit crispy.