No chance in hell. Wentz was the starter for a reason; he’s the better QB and the future for Philly. But Foles has earned a starting job and starting money and he’ll get it somewhere. I hope for him it’s not in Cleveland.

Finally a chance to throw batteries at someone’s head out of joy instead of anger.

Final Jeopardy should have been “Name a football team. Any team, and you will win.”

Bridget Moynahan?

I know it’s hard to tell the difference much of the time but the police is not the military

That’s unconscionable and disgusting.

Absolutely. Brady was going to get drunk and party with hookers the night before the game, but after this? He’s going to do everything he can to win for sure!

Now BB has to change his pregame speech from “We have Tom Brady we don’t have to try to hard.” to something else.

In a way, it’s almost better if the Pats win. I’ve become inured to the bullshit GOAT attitude, and seeing Philly fans collapse in on themselves would just be too sweet. On the other hand, if the Pats lose, not only do we have to deal with Eagles fans becoming super obnoxious, we all have to deal with overwhelming…

yeah man the pats were totally gonna coast through this game until some dumb columnist brought up the double murderer they used to employ now they’ll probly try.

I really, reeeeeaaaally do not want the Patriots to win, but good god I am all horned up at the thought of Philly fans and sports media imploding on themselves. A real Sophie’s choice, if you will.

Well, to be fair, he did kill that one guy.

Please, Philly, keep giving the Pats lighter fluid motivation in the form of hot takes on Aaron Hernandez and sign stealing from 15+ years ago.

i’m not saying Bill Belichick was on the grassy knoll, but there’s no evidence that he wasn’t, either.

Holy shit this is a piping hot take.

FACT: Nobody has been murdered by Aaron Hernandez since the Patriots cut him. You can all thank them now.

Swap out the player’s name and criminal offense and you could write this same dumb bullshit about every team in the fuckin’ NFL.

His column is fucking mindroasting:

I’d assumed that it was a note that said, “HELP” scrawled in blood.

I call bullshit on that. Greatest logo in the history of human civilization.