As opposed to the rest of the scholars that get “accepted” to Michigan to play football?

You’re overthinking this. Just play the national anthem.

You are such a fucking asshole.

Lauren, send some Deadspin staffers to do some investigative journalism. Pull the fire alarm and see if he makes it out on foot.

“Anyway, like I was sayin’, porgs are the fruit of the sea.

Stuff them, mash them, stick em in a stew?

Yeah as opposed to someone who judges others for pretty subjective opinions, those guys are fantastic at parties!

You must be fun at parties...

it just makes a yank think of a bunch of dudes named ted hanging out in a jungle, probably in plaid flannel. We don’t associate it with “bears”

I honestly thought that one scene of them looking at Chewie in horror as he’s about to eat one of their own as the funniest part of the movie if only for the fact that he feels really guilty about it.

Honestly, anyone that legitimately believes the porgs were a major concern worth arguing about need to fuck off. If you don’t like them, fine, whatever. If you throw a bitch fit at people that say they do like them you have a fucking problem.

Probably unpopular opinion: I thought the porgs were great

It’s Bristol’s biggest victory since they defeated Brave, Brave Sir Robin.

As the resident Bristol City fan I’ll just say that I’m drunk and delirious and have only just recovered from a point of near tears. Couldn’t be there tonight but loving every minute. Fantastic Christmas present and a great performance to boot.

Who? You mean Green Mario?

This is a common misconception. Zelda is the scientist. You’re thinking of Zelda’s Monster.

That’s exactly what Zelda’s brother Luigi would say!

Literally anyone could have written that false information. Your sources are suspect.

Wes is a treasure. It’s as if Ed Hoculi officiated hockey and was not a huge preening jackass.

It’s just cheating, dude. Belicheck has figured out time travel and see what’s going to happen and then goes back in time and picks a humiliating way for the other team to lose.