Shit - this means Suzie Kolber probably has mono, too!

I guess he wasn’t getting all the medicare benefits he deserved.

14. Getting hit by a bus while reading

Since you have brought this up, I am happy to share with you my GREATEST TIP.

The nice thing about baseball is how it’s a nice pleasant tune-outable background drone of “...and it’s a called strike two, on the outside corner; anyway, we were on a road trip to Chicago in 1979...,” but then THE ANNOUNCER’S VOICE ALL OF A SUDDEN ALERTS YOU TO START PAYING ATTENTION, so you get to see those…

We also would’ve accepted “fought self in mirror” for the deep cut

I don’t understand what The Matrix has to do with anything.

Any reason you photoshopped in a different picture of Darnold’s face on top of this one?

“We don’t have a problem with fascists”

People say the same shit about Black Lives Matter. They don’t know what it means, or what it sounds like might mean something else...

Serious question: Do you like cheering for plays as they happen, or do you prefer to sit in silence for 6 minutes and then politely clap after they determine the outcome of a play?
Followup: How much do you love sniffing your own farts?

Sorry, that name has been trademarked by every fraternity on every campus for at least three rooms in their house

If you look at the replay, he maybe has a shot if he runs to his left, letting the two guys coming off the corner run past him to the right instead of trying to outrun them coming off one knee with them at full sprint. Still, that counts on the holder being able to beat #8 (who’s playing spy) to the corner, which…

Citadel graduate here. At least 88% of my existence as a SC native and a Citadel graduate embarrasses the dickens out of me, so I'm going to bask in this moment.

Someday in the not-too-distant future, when we’re remembering some guys, I’ll probably remember Shaun Livingston. 

It’s way more fun to laugh at Trubisky quarterbacking the Bears.

Jacksonville is a swamp with houses, not a city

Pivoting hard... to word salad?