9. Getting hit by a car

He’s not old and broke dicked enough for the Knicks to sign him to a max deal yet.

Life is so much more enjoyable if you allow yourself to have some fun, I promise.

Who cares? It was awesome.

Make the first round “White elephant gift exchange” rules.
Each team can draft or “steal” a previously drafted player. Players can be “stolen” two times and then are locked into the team who steals them last.

A shirtless Gronk, covered in body glitter, stands atop a Cancun balcony, staring off in the distance, as he finishes his Bud Light Lime, and mutters “Yo soy fiesta.” It is only there, above the crashing of the waves that he realizes he has no idea who he has been saying yo to, all these years.

Tough decision. His heart is between a rock and a hard place.

By 2026 I’ll be watching the New York Police Respecters vs. the Boston American Flag Lovers in the Xtreme Football League in June, thank you very much!

What football are you watching in June?

If people don’t like football as much any more, I get it. And soccer lovers can hate football all they want. But that doesn’t mean they have to lie to my face and tell me things like “ACTUALLY PLAYERS IN OTHER SPORTS DIVE JUST AS MUCH AND ACTUALLY OFFSIDES IS AN AWESOME RULE THAT MAKES SOCCER MORE EXCITING, NOT…

I’m moving further away from football, but I’ll be damned if soccer is going to fill that void.

Oh please Trump spare us the World Cup, it’d be the first good thing you’ve done. A USA World Cup would turn the “ACTUALLY SOCCER IS AMERICA’S FASTEST GROWING SPORTS!” crowd up to 11. No one cares, just let me watch football.

Here’s a thought. Have whatever vague language you want, but force them to watch replays at normal speed (and maybe even give them a time limit). If you slow down the footage enough, there will always be a minutely detectable wobble. If it looks like a catch on the field, and reviewing several angles of film at normal…

Cite me the rule where it says three feet = runner. It doesn’t exist and that’s not the rule. Dez had three feet too.

A star point guard who relied on driving into the paint who looks like a shell of the player he was after injuries.

How Trump voters can simultaneously bitch about unions and lament the disappearance of well-paying jobs that only existed due to those same unions never ceases to both amaze and depress me.

Trying to get with cousins is always a disaster.

cut bait also means to cut the line, cutting the bait off the rod. Basically disengaging from the situation. Either works with this expression

The only thing I’ll say here is that while I agree with him that the one and done rule is dumb, the reasoning behind it definitely has to to with color. Green. There are really only 2 college sports that most people give a shit about, football and basketball. If the best players in the country were allowed to go…

That’s it. Tear down your local dilapidated bowling alley and let’s get a curling rink up in there instead. I think this could become my drinking sport of choice.