Wow, I didn’t realize that Bartolo, Giancarlo, and Alex were white guys now.

“Facing the wrong way, what do you expect?”

Maybe if, as a teacher, you shot them, it would help.

Doesn’t some langauge have a word for feeling joy at others’ failure?

I believe the German word is “Saskatchewan.”

Not monitoring potential school shooters frees up some time.

who is mark davis’ barber and why does he have so many high-powered clients in the sports world?

Young people did end the Vietnam War, but those young people were Vietnamese.

Yes, the primary difference being that American women are able to earn medals while the men earn participation ribbons.

It’s like you’re speaking English but it’s no language I know.

Since I’m talking about real-time posting while the game was in OT and in the shoot-out, your guarantee is not worth shit. Keep in mind, the entire country does not live on the East Coast. Game started at 745p PST. Pretty sweet for us but it sounds like it sucks for you.

You laugh but we’re not going to let these guys back into the country.

This is the darkest day in Canadian history since Tim Horton’s car exploded.

A game of horse between Philly and Colt seems like an even matchup.

allowing other muscles to atrophy.

Three Phil Kessels

This is the Despacito of jokes. Although it’s overplayed it still manages to get a favorable reception from the crowd.

Looks like the Rays gave Souza his marching orders.

Rays fans are way ahead of you on this. The last time they weren’t last in MLB in attendance was 2011 when they were second to last.

[loud screaming]