We have booze at Illinois Walgreens. But it's shitty, mostly. And unlike CVS, you can still buy smokes there. Curious for a business with a slogan like, "at the corner of happy and healthy."

Augh. The dry skin. YES. The fortune I have spent in lip balm. Every pocket and bag, year-round, for the past 20 years.

Um, I know this is slightly old, but still: http://www.crackshackormansion.com/part2.html

Seriously. And it's not like sugar is only for ladies. Nor are colors. You want to be a big beefy dude? You can do that coated in sugar and glitter, homie.

I love the term "hot garbage." Borrowing.

And this, friend, is why the wet-nurse has existed for millennia. As have glass nipples and non-breast feeding systems. Sometimes, it's not meant to be.

The only thing that helped that in me (other than switching to the pump since Baby Good was a biter) were these incredibly expensive silicon pads I got from the medical-supply store that I'd stick in the fridge. Unspeakable bliss.

The other thing to know is that breastfeeding doesn't "mess up" your breasts, pregnancy does. So, feel free to breastfeed away, sensitive nipples or no.

Man, does your #1 ever hit home. I had a no-latcher kid and no amount of chiropractic care, suck training, and lactation consultants could fix it. Took me years to accept that it wasn't my "fault" but rather just how it was. And I pumped for a year … a long year.

Guy Fieri is the human equivalent of a diarrhea-filled cum sock. The Peanuts gang top this fucker any day. (But I hear you.)

But so is Charles Schultz, right? And by choice. That's gotta even that shit out.

Her major was BIZNESS, friends.

No, I'm a mom and eye rolled that business like LL up there as well. "Mommyhood"? Please.

So, this really isn't a story about ingredients. It's a story about transparency and how CPS is set up to exclude parents from vital information regarding their students. Really, I'm sure these nuggets aren't that much different from nuggets anywhere else. But it shouldn't take a reporter filing a FOIA and starting a…

I always did two (Congress & DI, usually) but rarely did three. I always got cranky at the kids that insisted on order-shuffling because they were double entered.

Augh, that reminds me of going to some punk rock/mud wrestling show in a foreclosure. The bassist would regularly lean off stage to vomit. WORSE THAN PUBLIC TRANSIT!

Quad rubies? You have to like, triple-enter every tourney. That's a lot of work. I didn't do it in college either.

There we go! Also, take a sniff into any kid's reusable lunch bag. That's also pretty bad. Next time you're on the train/bus, remember it could be worse.

Luckily, the episiotomy isn't as common anymore. Just nobody tell these dudes about the super hot mesh postpartum underpants we gals wear.

That really cuts into the ease with which Chicagoland's state reps can fuck around on their partners, though.

The rest of the state already hates Chicago. What's one more reason?