I’m of the same mind. I’m not victim-blaming whatsoever — if a business offers safe services it ought to deliver safe services...but like, rubbing naked people... If I were in the risk-mitigation business I wouldn’t touch this with a 10-foot pole slathered in oil.

Every time I drive past a Popeye’s, I roll up the windows and switch the air flow to recirculate, just like I do when I pass a dairy farm. I’d be surprised if they changed their oil more than twice a year.

I’m going to feed the whataboutism and ask WHATABOUT the two filet o’fishes??? Who eats “fish” with cheese? Who eats these abominations?

I said just the tip, Roger!

I’m so fucking sick of hearing this. YES I WANT MIKE PENCE because he’s a knowable, predictable kind of evil. He won’t be able to wrangle this congress any better, and we may live to see 2020.

People are talking about how many beautiful guests we have booked the best guests guests you wouldn’t believe the most guests they’ve ever had believe me not many people knew about this

If the friend wants you to live and walk and chew your own food, he/she will not let you ride his/her horse. It’s actually a loving and compassionate thing to keep you as far away from that beast as possible. Def go with the boat people as long as they’re not drunk or high and enjoy your comfy seat without a spooky…

Maybe this is the genesis of my alienation. I was of the correct age for all this shit, but my parents never bought a computer nor acquired internet until post-dial-up, post-me-living-in-the-house. I missed an entire chunk of millennial culture. Yet I would still hoard FREE 200 HOURS of AOL CD-ROMs, in hopes that I…

but what are those boullion cubes made out of, eh?

I agree, but when there’s no political will, the corporate will to make more sweet millennial bucks works for me.

It kind of makes sense though — hire more women; they’re cheaper! It’s Wall Street! Hey!

KFC gravy may contain chicken.

You owe me a new keyboard.

I don’t think she’s dumb, which is why I can’t understand her tenure at FOX, and I can understand her rebranding effort. She’s not a journalist. She’s a television personality, and there’s not going back to journalist after you’ve crossed over to the dark side. Good luck finding your scant and obscure credibility,…

Being single and childless or just childless doesn’t mean you have no justifiable life or plans. Tell those dicks you’re busy making squirrel hats and mittens for your Etsy store, and/or LIVING YOUR LIFE. Also, you’ll be fine without Mr. Darth. I can tell.

Complicit women are a man’s best friend.

call me k

My dog pooped in the dining room so like, same.

Yeah, well put. America is your gaslighting boyfriend who cheated on his last girlfriend with you, but swears he’d never cheat on you (because it’s different this time), and does. This nation’s redeeming qualities come in the form of the transcendent art, music, food, language, thought, mythology and culture that…

Chess has Grand Masters. I guess it’s more ‘fun’ and ‘cool’ to be a lazy fucktard racist than to learn chess strategy to earn your cool ass names.