In 99 out of 100 alternate universes, Dana White is sleeping in his cab at a truck stop in Billings, Montana right now.

I live in Boston, not from here. I generally like the Bruins & Celtics & even the Red Sox. But I cannot fucking stand the Patriots or their fans. I get that the other teams’ fans are also Pats fans. But for some reason they are tolerable until they start spewing BS about the Pats. In other words, fuck you buddy.

The knots people twist themselves into trying to convince themselves that LeBron sucks are amazing to behold.

I may do that. How much do you guys pay research consultants?

One of our wonderful listeners brought us a dozen Pliny The Elders, which was a highlight of the summer.

Thanks for buying! To be honest, we went way over our initial word count but our editor let us keep almost everything in, so there wasn’t a lot left on the cutting-room floor. For me, one moment stands out. In August, my girlfriend (Jessie) and I went to Arnold Field to watch the Perseid meteor shower, because it was…

No—but you didn’t find it to be out of the realm of possibility, which is something.

This is Tim Marchman bad level list-making.

You can be a bitter, angry person or you can listen to great music.

Maybe, just maybe, this human being shouldn’t be subjecting herself to more punches/kicks to the skull in the future.

Next up: I think ketchup tastes bad, so I don’t eat it: a 7000 word glimpse into the human soul.

Today, he played probably his last game for the Bears and is most likely going to be a top-10 pick in the upcoming NFL Draft.

Why the fuck do we expect a professional football player’s political leanings to match identically to our own, to the point we need to crucify him in the media for it if they do not? What exactly does football have to do with politics? Are celebrities not allowed to have thoughts that don’t align perfectly with our…

Totally incorrect. You run trick plays against better teams, not against teams you should dominate. It’s one thing if you are outclassed and need to steal a possession. Terrible call all around.

The one thing I go back to with baseball contracts is that they’re only bad if they affect future decisions. The Dodgers have a bunch of “bad” contracts but it doesn’t prevent them from going after FAs (or trades) they want.

In fact, one could say they may have paid too high of a... cost

I don't like you.

you’re trying way too hard

As someone that has drunkenly tried several times to throw a golf ball from the red tees on short par 3s, I can tell you that golf scores and shoulder surgeries would skyrocket for anyone other than the worst hackers.

Norm is God