Nothing fires up your base like party leadership being faced with a critical turning point in history, with an evil administration running wild across every aspect of American life, and then throwing up their hands and saying “oh well, nothing we try would work anyways.”

My son spent six weeks in the NICU after he was born and one day, after my mother in law told another story about how “everyone slept on their stomach” or whatever, our nurse kinda had heard enough. She basically went on this long talk about how “yes, it’s wonderful that you or nobody you know died as a result of…

The GOP, for all of their disgusting views and vile beliefs, is so, so, so, SO much better at politics than the Dems. They listen to what their savage voters want, they promise to fight on behalf of them, and then they *do* it.

The Los Angeles Clippers are an ornery bunch, the kind of neighbors who would rather argue that they are perfectly dry while drowning in the local pool than admit they could use a floatie and a quick tow to the side.

Shut the fuck up.

Now if the NBA would stop being such a bunch of cruel, cold-hearted, brutal, stupid, ignorant, jerkoffs and put him and Anthony Davis on the same team for, uh, some reason...then we’d *really* be cooking.

And he has an uphill battle: Florida’s constitution strongly endorses public records—including police evidence, including videos taken by Jupiter police of what happened inside a massage parlor where, according to law enforcement, Kraft twice paid for and received sexual acts.

Dave Barry over here

Bu...but wait! I thought she #slayed, I...I even tweeted this picture right here with “yaass kween” as the caption! Are you telling me now that she’s centrist garbage and has no real interest in any progressive ideas that can save this country? Are you sure?

It’s always such a nice relief to see a real writer take on soccer on Deadspin, but I do miss the 400 word sentences sometimes.

A 120 pound power pitcher with a shitty, hinky, violent delivery whose extension has not even kicked in yet. Thanks, Dombrowksi! 

Were it not for Splinter, I would not even be aware that this show was on the air.

The sentence immediately following that is *133* words long.

Alternatively, when a soccer player widely heralded as the best the world has ever seen, deep into a career of countless trophies and goals and successes, takes to the home field of his club’s biggest rivals and, with practically the final kick of the game, guts his opponents with the most ruthless of game-winning…

I, for one, simply cannot get enough of this guy who averaged 11 PPG during his career. 

You’re kidding yourself if you think I’m reading 400,000 words about an upper mid-table side maybe finding a striker, BUT:

Let’s take a moment to appreciate Bill Bergen for sticking out an eleven year career despite having the two worst batting years in the history of professional baseball. We should stand in awe of a man staying employed for so long despite being so clearly bad at his job.

Having [Robb] go down as the victim of a sneaky, cowardly plot is like watching Harry Potter get fatally gutshot at the Yule Ball, halfway through the books.

I think the difference is the side that did this wants to kill us all *immediately,* while the other side would have killing us all at least up for debate. That’s my guess as to why people are mad about this.

Imagine getting beaten down the line by a guy you consider to be a “fucking fat fuck” and thinking it’s a good time to point that out.