You... aren't married, are you. 

I wonder if this is the worst take we'll see in the comments. It's a strong contender

they’re probably too busy starving to hop on a podcast and talk about it

I think most people can figure out why one might hold the UN member, proud democracy and recipient of billions of dollars in US aid to a different standard than an anti-democratic terror group that rejects all rules of decency and humanity and gets no military or diplomatic support from the international community,…

So are you saying we don’t need this Civil War? 

My favorite scene.

Are they bringing back the most important character:

I suspect it looked something like this:

“He should’ve jumped right to the Edward Scissorhands sequel...”

What is your point here, exactly?   

It was almost 8 pm.  That’s a perfectly good time to sit back and relax while robed.

The first sentence of every AV Club article that involved Stone, forever, would start like this:

Good grief.

It’s as if you were actively trying to sound like as much of a buffoonish dipshit as possible when making this comment.

Bernie lost to Hillary because she got more votes.

I get tears in my eyes watching Lilo and Stitch, so I don’t know why so many people seem to doubt the possibility of someone doing so during an apology, especially if they were sincere. It’s like everyone is mistaking this for “full on bawling” instead of a slight glisten.

“authenticity is dangerous and expensive,”

Oh fuck off and fuck everyone. What the fuck is going on, what are we fucking doing. Jesus fucking Christ. 

I’ve always disliked Wheaton so this is validating to me! Larry put the puppet in a wrestling hold for two seconds and pantomined clotheslining it. That’s it. Elmo appeared unhurt afterwards (since he’s, you know, a puppet.) Wheaton writing like Elmo is a real four year old child is unhinged.

I mean I guess some kids might have been upset but I think most kids are smart enough to understand that Elmo is in fact fake, and even if they aren’t their parents (or guardians, whoever) can say it was a joke and brush it off. This is not some sort of traumatic event. Or say they were playing and that’s not the kind…