Really, you just need to look at his background to see where this stuff comes from:

Color announcer sounded about 5 seconds from just going over and punching Allen in the throat which, although unorthodox, I would heartily endorse.

At what point do we accept that this guy is who he is, which is Ted Cruz?

Average NFL game length: 3 hours, 12 minutes

Assuming by “that venue,” you mean every goddamn place on this garbage continent.

It’s Wisconsin. That something in the water is beer-cheese soup.

A spokesman for Roger Goodell says the commissioner will indeed take action, and that he was not previously aware of the video.

True story: went to a small high school in northern New England (like 60 kids per class). We had an English exchange student join us for his senior year, and he was, as you might imagine, instantly the best player on our soccer team. EVERY single game he’d get a yellow card for swearing. One game he got double…

more like ottofellating.

Rest in peace, champ

Remember that episode of South Park where Cartman gets Kenny to put a picture of his ass as his school picture, and gets it put on a milk carton, and those folks with butts for their faces show up at his door looking for their missing son, and he blows a funny fuse because he’ll never see anything that hilarious ever…

“No, no no. He’s merely ‘honoring’ him.” -Dan Snyder.

ftfy

If you can grab the video, Curry just made an eephus scoop lay-up after a foul with 2 minutes left in the 1st quarter to go with this warm-up video.

No.

That was gripping.

Still the best:

My favorite Tweet so far...