“Knob vs. Dork - This Time It’s PERSONAL!!!”

A scooter is one of the best choices for first-time riders, but I think the 400cc minimum is too high. A used scoot of 125cc to 150 cc is enough power to get you to 45 MPH easily, but not enough to get you into too much trouble. Most scoots have easy-to-handle low centers of gravity, and the automatics will let you…

Using a Mitsubishi tire pump, that ‘86 will push 17 or 18 MPG.

Never buy the Jayne Mansfield Edition.

Collectively, Beige Against the Machine.

Never go full retarder.

This is what Tesla cars will be if it the company lasts long enough to grow up.

He does not have a butt hole. He has no need for one.

Uber didn’t exist in Austin until 2014. I guess everyone was homebound before then.

Like most of us, you live at least 300 miles away from Heaven.

“Just before” the launch of the Model 3? My, aren’t you the little optimist!

Nope. It looks like Cayenne that’s on its period.

“I’m not the one who does the inspections, but these girls don’t know that.”

True. Just as Americans hate ISIS, but they aren’t really a “rival”.

It’s still kind of wrong, though. “When did Volkswagen make the best GTI?” Duh! Volkswagen has always made the best GTI.

The later versions are objectively better cars, but the MK1 is the only one that whispers in your ear to make you want to do bad, bad things. That makes it the best.

So when Evans gets fired and starts a new show on Amazon, the name won’t be a problem. “Flash Drive”.

So it’s basically a Bell Jet Flying Belt that you can stand on top of. Pretty cool, but not exactly... rocket science.

Also, Dude, Chinese fire drill is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian Evacuation Simulation, please.

We can now confirm that Larson is Mitch Hedberg’s unfunny cousin.