Right. I get that he has a viewpoint here and that’s great and all…

So let me get this straight: The post in question wasn’t written by Kukla, but rather, someone from Kukla’s Clan?

I think she means Jesus, the Mexican landscaper from my neighborhood who is going to track these guys down and fuck em up.

Soon this league will be virtually unrecognizable. A power forward the size of a single proton? OK, pal, but not on my watch!! Do you think a wing player should be no larger than a down quark so that he can exploit the laws of physics to travel the potato through the objective circle? NEITHER DO I MY FRIEND BECAUSE I…

Even better: Green blaming the attempted dong-icide on his ‘weak core strength.’

Ask yourself this: if the Knicks played this brand of basketball, had the 2nd best record in the East, and made it to the conference finals, what would Deadspin’s narrative be? I mean, they have already made more Kristaps posts this season alone than they have made about the Raptors since their first day in the NBA.

Well, if we consult the McCann Convention, I’m sure all of the following would be violations: Smiling, laughing, displaying admiration and respect for an opponent’s achievement, acknowledging implicitly that playing baseball can be fun, and having a name that ends in one of them funny foreign letters like ‘Z’.

Let me get a plate of that China food tho! A LOT OF IT

They also won’t ever be, well, any other year/team. Also, they won’t ever be an f1 team, a European soccer club, a knitting circle consisting of plus-sized women, a small planet in, well, any Galaxy, a Ford Explorer, my balls, a breakfast special, a... Wait, what the hell was your point again??

Let’s all try to be more like Asa Cantwell on this Monday morning.

Would have been a legit yawn if he hadn’t travelled.

Miasma is a dangerous proliferation of disease, of which we should all be wary.

Odds Von Dabs sounds like some kind of Dutch nobleman

Mark Jackson responded, “While I disagree with his statements, I have a lot of respect for Bob as a veteran writer for one of our oldest newspapers. I feel like the globe has been around for 6,000 years.”

Not drunk/racist/unstable/violent/drugged up enough for a first rounder Browns pick. Needs to work on his cocaining numbers.

Ever since they were peers in elementary school, Weeden has been waiting for an opportunity to get the upper hand on Jones.