Is he trying to compete with Nick Cannon? 

Years ago, I asked Mrs Lizardo to pick up a pound of large shrimp at the store. She looked at the ones under that sign and said “those don’t look large.” She did come home with a pound of shrimp. There were 5 of them.

Imagine picking a fight with Mike Tyson - and not being taken away in ambulance. Insane and lucky. 

Want to thaw them anyway? Put them in a bowl (not a colander) in the sink under cold, slowly running water. They will thaw in about 5 minutes, less time than it takes to heat the broiler.

The megarich don’t buy things to use them, they simply own things for the same reason a poor grandma in Illinois hoards discount clothing.

World domination is hard — just ask Vladimir Putin.

The technology to save the environment (if implemented) already exists. It’s called “birth control”. Unfortunately, the major roadblock to implementing this strategy seems to be the biggest quagmire of human advancement: religion.

The Kim and Kanye love story is officially a tragedy.

Ah yes, they keep those in storage in Fort Blocks

Any historical, random, or natural feature that you otherwise wouldn’t make a dedicated trip for.
I use Atlas Obscura to find random but fun things along the way on any road trip, like the Superman statue in Metropolis, IL, hiking the tallest point in North Dakota on my way to Theodore Roosevelt National Park (it…

When I’m road tripping, I always take at least one meal per day at a fun, unique restaurant. I hop on Yelp and look for weird, highly-rated stuff. Even if I have to drive 20 min out of the way. It’s a rule for me.

Vulture capitalists.

For anyone wondering what in the hell happened to/at The Root:

WE DID IT!

If you’re gonna call Steve Austin, then you might as well also call Jaime Sommers...

Or, based on that chart, there’s a fairly stable number of dipshits willing to cause these problems flying at any given time, so if you add more flights, the dipshits to flights ratio is reduced.

Cold, thick liquids are always the easiest things to eat when you have a sore throat or mouth sores. I used to recommend them for people getting radiation for head and neck cancer or with stomatitis (mouth sores) from chemotherapy, often with a can of Ensure or similar blended into a milkshake for extra nutrition.

more importantly, did Flaten get to keep the wheel barrow?

I can’t believe he didn’t come to you for permission first.