"Darling? Will you spot me forever?"

And don't expect them to bring anything to a party. Seriously, they always show up empty-handed, get super drunk and pass out in the front yard.

Welcome aboard!

Is he available? I'd love an apology too.

Nope. Enjoy!

Yes, we fucking are!

And I thought people couldn't look dumber than when they're riding a Seqway.

True, but you can get a reasonably priced used JayLow on eBay.

Yeah, that's right. The runtime is the big problem with your movie, Zack. Sure. All the other stuff is meaningless. Runtime, that's all you need to focus on.

I think there's at least a 41% chance this project will never happen.

"Yes." - The Rest of the World

If a movie has a long running time but nobody sees it, does it still have a long running time?

It's not a "stunt", it's a "crime".

My name is Tortilla
And I'm here to say..
I just crapped my pants!
DAMN YOU CHIPOTLE!

Fun Thing To Do At Home:
1) Print out copies of this article.
2) Scrawl "FYI" across the top and tape them to the doors of any apartment complex.
3) Sit back and watch the hilarious misunderstandings!

me too.

Okay, sorry. I'll have a Big Mac and a box of shrimp fries.

Stilt-man has no knees.
Stilt-man needs no knees.

"mouth reading"?

BigTimeHollywoodExec: "You do now! Your pitch for BABY DRIVER 2 is greenlit! Here's $150 million. Now, go make me a movie!"