How else are you supposed to eat? Otherwise you're just pushing the burger against your closed mouth.

That wasn't his tongue.

Talking animals? There's no way two people could've come up with that concept!

"Yeah, fuck those guys." - Jesus

I'M DOING THE BEST I CAN!

Subway: "There's chicken in our sandwiches?"

Your manager saw you reading and immediately fired you for being over-qualified.

She can be both.

HAHA! Too late for that! Now, get back to cutting yourself!

*America burps quietly and raises hand*

I'll take a bite of that flak.

Yes you will! Now fess up and take your medicine!

pssst….adblock….shhhhh….

"I am proud to be a part of this project!!"

I'm trying to think of the last good one. It's an unforgiving genre.

*one person claps before realizing nobody is joining in and stops awkwardly*

Such as?

"“Why does this story need to be told?” That’s the question all writers and directors need to (or at least should) ask themselves before they put pen to paper or shoot a single frame of film"

[burp]

Sounds like nobody voted but the dudes at Alpha Tappa Kegger.