He looks dumpy and his ass looks like a burlap sack filled with snakes.

Hey Brooks, glad you could make it to Deadspin!

Braisin chicken thighs is wicked hahd

They employ students to swipe other students in, sure. They don’t employ students to don hairnets and braise 200 chicken thighs.

I don’t consider asking for a living wage outrageous.

$35,000 a year seems like a lot to ask to you? You have a weird definition of “a lot.”

Now I’m just throwing it out there. Maybe, just maybe, Trump might not be fit to be President.

THIS POST IS FOR SARANFANS ONLY!!!!!

“Fred Armisen in a wig and a dress is a deeply shitty joke”

Wow, doubly fuck them. They really don’t get it.

Oh, come on. My crippling alcoholism is a fine religion, if you ask me.

I certainly DON’T envy the number of times these folks will hear their spouse say “Nice technique loading the dishwasher, GENIUS” the rest of their lives.

I was going to joke that some of them were secretly marital aids, but looking at the photo, I’m certain some of them were secretly marital aids.

He does have a moral compass. It’s just that it always points to “women are lying whores.”

Not a dog, but here’s Wilson, who is a kid.

I broke my arm when I was 13. When they took off the cast, my tendons had healed a little too tight. I found out that I could throw a baseball incredibly fast. I got signed to a major league team and did really well closing out games. I eventually reinjured my arm later in the season and had to retire. But I’ll always…

the entire staff has turned over almost twofold since then

On the networks, yes. Conan, on the other hand, is excellent. When he gets out and interacts with people, he’s the king. Drivers ed with Ice Cube and Kevin Hart and his trips to Cuba and the Koreas and Clueless Gamer are great examples.

Former SSM participant here. I can tell you that shit is CRAY! We would have small group sessions where “International” would ask us to explicitly detail our experiences masturbating (alone and with partners) and offer us feedback... I left very shortly after that.