He’ll be fine, Denver's the perfect place to spark up a Bol.

Cardboard man gets paid?

Home Depot boxes? Talk about lifestyles of the rich and famous.  Steal your cardboard moving boxes from the local liquor store like the rest of us, asshole.

“DELIVERED VACANT JUNE 21" (or whenever the last day of school will be).

Are school administrators literally not allowed to use their brains?

School administrators were some of the dumbest, humor-impaired people I met in school. Common sense is not only not required for the job, it is often seen as a liability.

it’s like the first grader who brings a one inch plastic action figure blaster and the administrator sees it, shouts ZERO TOLERANCE in the kid’s face and expels them

This fits the school administration:

His excuse, that he meant the senior class, didn’t take into account the 2/3 or 3/4 of students who would be returning the next year. It wouldn’t be vacant and ready to sell.

I thought it implied summer break and thus an empty building.

Even in today’s hyper-sensitive culture, there is no way in my mind that statement would *ever* translate to a potential threat. Maybe I’m just naive.

First thing I thought was SUMMER VACATION when the building is vacant of students.

A student who makes a real or implied threat, whether it is deemed credible or not, will face discipline.

The punishment was asinine. What is “implied” by “loss of students” is that seniors are graduating. Are school administrators literally not allowed to use their brains? Sure, investigate it, but when the result of said investigation (which at most should have amounted to him coming into the principal’s office) is…

This is one of those cases where no one actually believes it’s a threat, but everyone involved mumbles something along the lines of “better safe than sorry”, and claims it can be construed as a threat. Then they make a big deal about how they “had no choice” but to pretend this thing they knew wasn’t a threat was a…

Why not suspend the various English teachers who so obviously failed him to this point, as well?

Next article: Student suspended for releasing noxious gas on school grounds!!!

I understand all the hysteria, but let’s take it easy on this guy: he is single-handedly responsible for one of the only satisfying climaxes to a Chargers game this season.