The parents were very controlling and were demanding the daughter take on a more “serious” course of study, etc. She was tired of their distant yet domineering behavior - and there was a large amount of money to inherit as well. Up to the “slaughtering her parents” part, I have some sympathy for Elizabeth Haysom, but…

Congratulations, you have earned 100 dillars from Deadspon.

I asked my coworker, Tim Brady, what he thought about Trump and his plans for Muslims, and he told me to get the fuck out of his cubicle. Also I’m not a reporter. Can I still have $100?

Counterpoint: it’s growing up in conditions exactly like this that leads to so many South African players looking like the ball is attached to a string when they finally play on a flat surface.

This is the most likely outcome. But there are circumstances where some justice and punishment will be served:

In fairness they tried to arrest Bruce but he was nowhere to be found.

Lamborghini cars should be limited to 15mph from the factory.

You're fucking shitting me, right? For whatever reason you let Colin and Mark go and Pratt is somehow even jokingly a replacement? WHAT MONOGRAMMED THERMOS, FAKE ALLERGY RIDDEN HELL IS THIS BECOMING?!?!?

Unlike Drew, I love mayo, but something about squeezable mayo (adn squeezable jelly) grosses me right out.

I purchase the squeezable mayo.

When I make a ham and cheese sandwich, I use the cheese to spread the mayo on the bread instead of a knife.

Facebook is a way for lonely narcissists to continually assert their need to be seen and interacted with if only in the most distant way imagineable.

I began ignoring the straw policy after that, and the manager dutifully ignored my ignoring of said policy.

For what it is worth, this guy is a lawyer.

WE’RE ALL crying.

Your servers love you for this. This is the exact reason Christmas Day was always my favorite shift.

Our family tradition at Christmas is to go out Christmas Eve for lunch at a greasy spoon, be polite to the server, and leave a $100 tip in cash. It’s kind of selfish, actually— we all get to feel super altruistic, and we race to get out before the server finds the cash and feels like they need to thank us.

Let me just get the Pinkham’s Law out of the way, because I don’t see any yet and I’m SURE it’ll happen-

ARGLE BARGLE BUT RESTAURANT MANAGERS WORK HARD TOO AND NEVER GET TIPS DID YOU KNOW RESTARANT MONAGERS CARE ONLY ABOUT THE SUCCESS OF THE RESTESRAUNT AND ARE SELFLESS ANGELS TO WORK AS HARD AS THEY DO FOR THE…