I for one will be disappointed if Golden State chooses not to go to Washington. Opportunities like this come along once in a lifetime, if that. I think the Warriors, provided they receive an invitation, had better think long and hard about how to respond. It is a personal meeting with the Goddamn President of the…

I feel like the lack of comments on this article means that people didn’t realize the gravity of this case. Had the court ruled in Lexmark’s favor, it would have opened the door for all sorts of chicanery from companies sneaking anti-reselling language into their EULA’s. We dodged a major bullet here, people.

Except in cases where you’re required to by an HOA, care about your property values, or care about your relationship with your neighbors.

My grandfather never smiled or laughed that I ever heard except at this scene.

Then change the photo. I’d have sex with Kate Beckinsale under almost any circumstance I can think of, and many that I have not.

My freshman year of college, I completed the “pizza two mile” with several of my cross-country teammates. One whole Papa John’s large cheese pizza, eight laps on a track. Eat a slice, run a lap, continue for eight of each. I finished the ordeal in 16 minutes and 17 seconds, and it remains both my greatest athletic and…

 You know those stupid man rompers? Juicero is still dumber than them.

Banana Slugs being a shitty team name is a bad, bad take.

Um, if it had nothing to do with the city, then why is the T-Rex short for Torontosauras Rex, idiot.

Once i found a card in my brother’s truck that was signed by all his coworkers expressing condolences on the death of his father. Our dad was very much alive at the time. Yes, my brother is that guy.

How the fuck is Kawhi landing on Zaza’s foot ‘Zaza Pachulia came down hard on Kawhi Leonard’s foot’?

What’s always puzzled me about the Google Home TV commercials are the use cases they show. A woman walks into her house and tells google to turn on the lights...when she’s standing right beside a light switch she can just flick with a finger. Another person, shushing everyone in a crowded room preparing for a surprise…

Your Pixel review is downright pathetic. Hands down best phone I’ve ever owned. You glossed over the amazing camera and how great a pure android phone is. The S8 is better? Well it should be, it’s 6 months newer. Assistant is bad? Yet you don’t mention fucking “Bixby” on the S8 that barely functions? Assistant…

Kathy Ireland, man.

Hell yeah. When I was apartmenting, I had a nice little cast iron hibachi I’d use out on the balcony. Just big enough for a pound of porterhouse, two burgers, or a big slab o’ squid.

I think so!

“He is fine and the shoulder is something that just disappears into the woodwork when he wins his next MVP or when he wins a Super Bowl.”
“His next? He’s never won either of those things, Mr. Irsay.”
“Shhh...you hear that? It’s the shoulder, quietly disappearing into the woodwork.”  
“Do you know what a shoulder even is?”
…

“What advantages does this war have over, say, an ethnic cleansing, which I could also afford?”

She said the Russians killed Andrew Breitbart and that they control the wi-fi in her neighborhood. I try to hold people to a standard above saying stuff like that.