Wow, this is really good. *Grins stupidly*

Is this really a thing? All of the Cracker Barrels I’ve been to are primarily staffed and visited by black people. I think the food is fine and relatively inexpensive, especially for the massive amount of food you get.

Considering adding a bit of liquid smoke in lieu of a charcoal grill. Yea? Nay?

Oh tell us more about your “privilege” and “vacation” smh

This read like a Tucker Max story. Merely an observation.

God forbid someone would suggest that maybe it’s ok to call terrorists losers and maybe we shouldn’t​ lose our collective shit over it.

I was on the Metra last weekend and a lady stepped on with no bra while slinging her labia around her leggings like it was hanging from a meat hook.

The crack on the window of your toaster oven momentarily shit my pants

Man I’m jealous, landlord only allows gas grills though because apparently a propane bomb is much more safe than some hot coals.

How hot are we talking here... Apartment living reduces me to a balcony sized gas grill that, if I yell at for while can probably reach 550°F. Will this work?

Decidedly NOT The Patriot Way

This assumes that United just has flight crews laying around if another crew doesn’t make it, which they don’t. So to United: inconvenience 1 or inconvenience 100. Easy choice.

I prefer to face-fuck my fritters at slightly less than the speed of sound, no need to alert the neighbors of my gluttony.

A good offset serrated knife is a tool to behold.

Whichever asshole goes after Dogmeat first, gets my full VAT’S attention.

Twins fan living in Chicago here, no one fellated Joe Mauer in the mid 00's more than Hawk.

Does all the Zach Braff hate still stem from that one Punk’d episode? Regardless, I choose to believe that JD plays a character called Zach Braff.

Oh good, so when defending my home against an intruder I have the option of deafening myself before OR after I discharge my weapon. THE CHOICES!

I may be a product of CPS but I do know that 10,000 multiplied by 10 is not 1 million.

Holy gun sucking Hitler, who edited this?