You’re right. Darling and Steele are not white women, they’re black performers who have spoken on their experiences with pay disparities in different contexts. Information about the pay structure in the industry is notoriously hard to come by, particularly for those outside it, and I know that because I used to…

Mark Spiegler, Nikki Darling, and Lexington Steele have all talked about it, and I think there might have been something In Jenna Jameson’s autobiography, but I don’t have a copy anymore. I don’t know how reliable that information is because I don’t work in the industry, but I have seen performers allude to or discuss…

I’m willing to give her (and most white performers) a pass on not working with black performers, as awful as that sounds. Particularly for women, their earning potential takes a hit they’ll never recover from once they start working with black performers, and it’s usually a quick progression to multiple vaginal/anal…

To be fair I haven’t read any of Ronson’s other work, but his book about shame was based on a very, very shaky (at best) understanding of the psychological principles at play. It was clear he did almost no research and I can’t respect an author who can’t be bothered to do the bare minimum. I wouldn’t trust him to…

We also need to consider that most (if not all; my info is a few years out of date) of the HIV transmissions that occur in straight porn come from actors who work outside the U.S. Crossover performers are assumed to work outside the U.S. more frequently than non-crossover performers, though I don’t think there’s any…

Ugh, high-waisted jeans. I’m short all over and my torso is a little extra short, so high-waisted pants end up around my bustline. Give me some extra low-rise jeans so I have a least of fighting chance of hitting my actual waistline. And a hell yes to everyone who’s mentioned the difficulty of pairing shoes with…

That’s bonkers. If you want to me pay, then you should definitely tell me how much things cost. I’m not a waiter, I don’t work in the food industry, and I have no way of estimating these things (e.g., charging for sauce also sounds bonkers to me). 

Seconded. I grew up in the desert and fish was never available. I still have no idea if market price means $15 or $75, so I usually avoid fish altogether. 

“If you can’t afford where you want to live, look at where you can afford to live and make a compromise. It’s called being an adult.”

And if you want to make Chipotle-style barbacoa, here’s a great recipe: https://www.geniuskitchen.com/recipe/chipotles-barbacoa-copycat-recipe-472445

Something like this was my fear the first time they were doing this nonsense when I lived in the Bible belt. My friends and I started keeping a cache of birth control and emergency contraception in case one of us needed it and couldn’t access it. We didn’t need it, luckily, but it might be worth thinking about to keep…

And yet here you are, still pissing into the wind. Guess you’re not really less likely to engage when someone’s been rude, are you? 

This is a great point. Car buying as a woman is nightmare and trying to educate myself about cars isn’t much better. There isn’t an easy way to make car ownership a not-terrible task for me, so with the last car I bought I was mostly focused on something that would be reliable so I wouldn’t have to worry about getting…

I’d like to know how to get more detailed information from insurance companies. I’ve run into odd situations where there’s a Rube Goldberg reason why something is/isn’t covered and I’d like to be aware of those before I choose an insurance provider. Unfortunately, most companies don’t want to disclose that level of…

I think we also have to consider that people who spend time in an echo chamber don’t necessarily spend *all* their time in an echo chamber. Heck yes, after the Kavanaugh debacle I’m definitely going to hang out at Jez where I can worry less that someone’s going to crawl out of the woodwork and go off about lying,…

Exactly. I was jokingly thinking, “A man must have written that suggestion,” and I wasn’t wrong. 

Wow, okay. That sheds a lot on what you’re looking for and why. Also, in case nobody’s told you, that’s a gross and fundamentally incorrect way to categorize people. 

This is assuming everything works as it should. I can’t tell you how many times my parents were shuffled from polling place to polling place on election day, despite having lived in the same house for the last 40 years, and it was only their willingness to advocate for themselves that allowed them to cast a vote. But…

Yeah, this is a tough one. I’m in a highly educated, poorly paid field and partners are fine with this when casually dating, but the difference in finances make more serious dating difficult. A lot of men will say they prefer a woman who doesn’t want their money, but I’ve found they get testy when I can’t afford to do…

I wish we did more parallel play as adults. I’d love to go hang out at a coffee shop and read/put a puzzle together/etc. with other people who are doing the same thing without the pressure to interact. We need better ways for people to make natural affinity groups.