No, he just insisted that everyone else move in slow motion.

jk people just choose to be homeless for shits. That’s how it works (this is utter sarcasm).

Usually people who don’t have addiction problems completely fail to understand the point I just made so you’d be forgiven for not understanding.

However I’m certain there’s a lot of homeless people who would hollar ‘preach’ at what I just said.

I mean.... speaking as someone who has alcoholics in their family.... being an alcoholic can cloud your judgement and produce odd comments and opinions from you for years before you “wake up”. Blaming it on his alcoholism isn’t a thing he should own his behaviour but..... I wouldn’t dismiss the power of alcoholism by…

Lying to kids is awesome because they’ll believe anything.

I used to lean out the window and shout “Boo, Ice Cream Man!”, because fuck that guy!

This reminded me of playing hide-and-seek with my three year old when he hid under his blankie on the livingroom floor (because that totally makes you invisible) and then fell asleep. He napped there for two hours. I won!!

I’m 6'2 and think it’s hilarious that she was fired.

Hmmm, I dunno if bothsidesism is really going to be the best look for you here

Sounds like she got all the Napoleon complexes riled up something fierce.

You need to go to better bars.

Beer before liquor is way more of a gray area than a simple true/false statement:

I hope he didn’t compound his misery by watching it too.

When you read Moby Dick the second time Ahab and the whale become friends.

The murder is fake, but the racism is real.

The problematic part isn’t Claudette’s mask, the problematic part is the racists.

I assume that a conscious decision was made to describe Dustin Diamond’s career as skidding to a halt rather than screeching to a halt. Yet more evidence that the AV Club is classier than me.

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