Woohoo! Monmouth County!

This year?

J.J. Abrams, a guy with his own particular style

This is the crisis in Hollywood filmmaking nobody talks about. Because promising indie filmmakers are instantly swept up straight to franchise blockbusters, and most of the writers who would know this sort of thing are doing sitcoms, there’s a real dearth of talent for the mid-level comedies, and so we get crap like…

Star Trek: The Search for Feet

I can’t believe this story was up for an hour and 53 minutes before someone finally made the obviously low-hanging reference to 16th century Dutch humanism!

The selection of the original version of this movie to put in the VCR right after “You’ve Got Mail” nearly set the jury pool waiting room of the Monmouth County Courthouse into full-fledged armed revolt when I was on a civil jury back in 2000. I doubt this remake will be powerful enough to incite insurrection.

“negates the creepiness with a simple gender swap.”

I’m guessing it was the presence of a non-white guy named Del Toro in both that threw them off.

“Han and Luke were written as incompetent father figures who are deadbeats, Poe is a victim of the ‘anti-mansplaining’ movement, and you just know they’ll turn the both of them gay.”

I wish I lived in their world where people who weren’t bigoted asshats had so much power.

I heard it’s just a really elaborate remake of Six Degrees of Separation. (I did not hear this)

Jaden Smith shows up in bright 2, beating a monster to death with a giant Toblerone.

Are we finally watching the start of the Willennium?

There’s a brickstarterman waiting in the sky, he’d like to come and post here, but he thinks he’d blow our mind.

2 Bright 2 Luminous

The one in white in that photo is hot! Wait...does that make me a furry?

Damn it, I thought one of those T.S. Eliot cosplayers up top had sold some fanfic.

Every American feature film is a ‘History of White People in America’ feature film.