This is my new motto. Thanks.

I want a show called “Host Stand.” It would be the tv version of bco.

I did that a few weeks ago at my grocery store. The woman cut in front of me at the deli and immediately went “Excuuuuuuse me!” To the kid behind the counter who was bending over and obviously busy doing something. I said something to the effect of “you just cut in front of me, and the way you spoke to him was really…

If you do make time for exercise, she’ll start insisting you have a nosh whenever you see her. Once you engage, you’ll never break free.

My favorite was always the ol’ “I’m friends with the owner!!” I would smile at them and very politely say “Great! Just go ahead and shoot him a text that you’d like to to get seated and he will let us know. I would love to seat you, but I’m not authorized to skip anyone to the top of the list” Only one person out of…

I’m avoiding getting home (Thanks, wine bar!) Because as soon as I do I’ll be shaking my fists at those kids & screaming at them to get offa my lawn*. If any of those molly-addled children are parked so much as an inch in my driveway, Imma call MTA and pop some popcorn**...

Omg! I walked right passed you while I was at State.

Amen! I have a cat largely because I don’t want kids. I would move hell and earth for Rollie Paws, but I am not a mother. People who conflate four-legged buddies with human children creep me out.

I love hosting but doing it well is a lot more challenging than most people realize. The kitchen wants orders to come in at a certain pace, each server has their own set of demands- lawd help you if you don’t comply, all of the customers are right all of the time and should get the exact table they want RIGHT NOW, and…

I

Luke and Leia are twins, Luke is one of the most powerful Jedi knights, and Leia (despite proving repeatedly that she's a badass), is not depicted as a Jedi in any of the movies.