There once was a man from New Haven

Obviously he had a Harvard lawyer.

James Franklin liking Jay Z is the blackest thing in State College.

I want to know where they keep Hitler’s skeleton.

And they left a trail of tears as they vacated their homes...

In cricket that’s known as “taking a good Pakistan.”

Just shows a lack of heart and dedication, selling out his teammates like that. A Stoops Man would have accepted one Olympic appearance and realized that he has more CLs to tear for his Duck brothers.

Deery Tate, cross country deer.

Do they still eat at Cracker Barrell?

Cyclists cheat more than Ashley Madison bots.

Making sure he didn’t catch gray dick in the shower.

That’s some gray dick shit.

I tried the hidden man trick once to get in the girls locker room. But then my balls fell out...

They are so Browns that their salary cap is calculated on Lotus 123.

My avatar in color is what every Clevelander should be wearing.

If the Tribe would have won the World Series, God would have crashed the Browns team plane every week. Be happy with 0-16 and a Cavs title.

“To be blunt...wait...yo...you gotta blunt? Fuck this.”

“Sorry folks, I get all my news from the 18 year old recruits I follow on Twitter.”

The polls say it’s Romo’s turn. Play him!

His 538 blog looks pretty stupid right about now.