Have the Million Moms (the actual number of which is severely in doubt) been successful at anything? They complained about JC Penney bringing Ellen on as a spokesperson, and Penney’s said “kick sand”. They’ve bitched about Disney having LGBTQ characters or the suggestion thereof, to which the Mouse said “what about…

Yeah, but his plan was to go all-in on midichlorians.

Don’t try to buy this? Then what are all of my sharks supposed to wear Andrew? Hats like some common pigeon?!? 

Except DOOM, which is a known stage for cyborgization of demons.

“The parakeet’s wooded habitats were quickly cleared for agriculture when colonists arrived, and they were shot in great numbers by hunters or farmers who treated the birds as pests.

Still, the absolute worst part of it is whoever views the video has to forward it to someone else within seven days.

Wait, does this mean I’m past due updating my Windows 95 machine?

Look if you went back 20 years ago and told anyone they would have to support a piece of software for ten years they would have laughed directly into your face. To Microsoft's credit Windows 7 was really good! And if you are running a machine not connected to the internet then who cares! But if you are on the internet…

I’ve been using Amazon smile for a while now. I have the donations go to a local animal shelter. I know I'm terrible at remembering to donate... The shelter has an Amazon wish list so I picked a few things (mostly dog treats) and put them on my subscribe and save! So they get things for the animals and the Amazon…

Thanks Ike Perlmutter. Just great work you ghoul. 

On Chrome, there’s an extension called “Smile Always” that automatically redirects all Amazon links/pages to the smile site. So then I never have to remember or think about it, and the World Wildlife Fund gets a few cents from me on the regular.

Xbox Box One X

God I hate Jeff, I wanted Jeff to win.

What gives? Probably your last little brain cell.

WON'T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CYBORGS?!? 

“We’ve located your luggage, the cart was apprehended while trying to cross the Swiss border, with forged registration papers that said it was a Model 3.”

Makes you really laugh uncontrollably to see snubs on two actually great films being shoved aside for the pop culture flavor of the month in Joker.

Oh good, they’ve invented a new way to lose my luggage.

My job is to duplicate audio books to be mailed out to blind and print disabled patrons. In order to do so, it requires reader advisers to submit the 5 digit book id and patron id to me. Previously, they just wrote it down on an index card and brought it back to my desk (why no one even thought to email it is beyond…