So... your theory is more hardcore gamers are watching the Super Bowl than families? Instead of showing a boxing game to sports fans, show them the Dungeons & Dragons of video games?

“And while we’re at it, we need more fake buzzwords like Blast Processing! Maybe an edgy new mascot - nobody’s put sunglasses on a dog yet, right?”

“We took some unprecedented actions today due to the unprecedented obstruction on the part of our colleagues,” Sen. Hatch said in a statement. What does unprecedented mean again?

Not saying it’s a coup....(but it’s a coup)

Also: he talks about Fredrick Fucking Douglass the way you would talk about the teenaged manager at the Quik-E-Mart. “Oh yea, Jonathan is doing an amazing job. Really great. Always makes sure the Slurpee machine gets refilled. Really excellent.”

Maybe he saw the Thomas Jefferson vs Fredrick Douglas Epic Rap Battles Of History video and got confused.

My first reaction was, “what an asshole”. Then I remembered he’s just a kid and kids are dumb and probably thought this was funny and that I’m old and what seems funny to me seems strange to the young generation. I am 12 years his senior and the only time I’ve been on TV it was because I caught a foul ball while I…

This is how dictatorships begin and people are disappeared.

“Wait...no weed though? Did they deflate footballs? No for either? Ok...Good.” - Roger Godell

lets chat call my cel @5p thx

The existence of a coach named Jeff Fish implies the existence of a coach in the NFL named Jeff Fishest.

let’s hope it’s a short chapter.

“Now that we talked about our 44th president Obama, we will come to our next president. President ******* was the 46th president of the US and someone who had some real trouble to get our country back on track.”

The thing is, it’s not a chapter, the teacher is reciting it from memory... Farenheit 451 style.

Okay, but if the next page has a picture of a giant new Statue of Liberty modelled on Kellyanne Conway clutching ‘The Art of the Deal’ to her bosom, middle finger upraised to the world- just don’t tell me, okay?

School lessons would have to start in Kindergarten and end at retirement.

Just don’t tell me that this is the last chapter in the book.

Of course it was. This is a man who decried that we sometimes discuss our military plans on the news, as if we give away every little thing we’re planning on doing, and thinks all we have to do in every situation is just sneak in and shoot and bomb people and we’ll prevail every time. Stupid fucker.