Oh god, then that’s it for me.

a clump of moldering chickpeas

You know, my SO told me about this, and I thought he was joking. (In my defense my SO didn’t know what specific day was being named a National Patriot Day, he helpfully suggested that it should be “the first Monday after the Super Bowl”). This is real life?? Making his own inauguration day a fucking holiday?? Even Kim…

As a software designer I am always inspired by stories like this, as long as it works it doesn’t have to be beautiful in the background, what the user don’t know, won’t hurt them.

I’ll have to go find my tiny violin.

Life is just so hard when you’re a billionaire in charge of the most powerful country on earth. I’ll have to go find my tiny violin.

Congratulations, America! You’ve given the keys to nuclear holocaust to a man who can be triggered by a fucking goddamn tweet...

Literally they are saying it’s ok to murder someone.

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

A particularly insane bill proposed in North Dakota would legally enable drivers to injure or kill anyone who is “obstructing vehicular traffic” on a public road, so long as it was deemed an accident.

A Virginia bill aims to increase the penalty against protesters who remain on the street after “having been lawfully warned to disperse.” If passed, those found guilty of “unlawful assembly” could be subject to a year in prison and a $2,5000 fine.

This helps explain why people call him a real motherfucker.

You’re welcome:

“Ted Cruz is the greatest ringball player of all time. Period.”

Sent to me by Sean Spicer.